That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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