That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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