S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize