And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
