i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
