highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
