is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
