yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
