he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize