We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize