look no pants
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
