I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I skipped work to stalk him.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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