Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
