Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
