Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize