Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize