I wannas sexs uuuuu
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
