haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
