part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
