I smell stomach acid.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
