he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize