Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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