Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
