He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
