I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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