Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
