Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
