Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
