she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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