When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
