It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
this will be a night to untag.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
