theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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