I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
