I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
