I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
