I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just sent this text using only my big toe
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
