if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
