I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
