There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
