I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
