Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
