Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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