Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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