he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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