Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
