Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
