If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
