I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize