allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Randomize
