you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
