im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
