Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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