Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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