do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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