sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
