Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Holy sore nipples Batman
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
