I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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