i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
