Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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