Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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