So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
