Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
